dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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