she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
