Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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