And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
