My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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