things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
