Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im holly from the hills drunk
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
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