Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it because I queefed?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
