and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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