Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
