Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
