God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
