just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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