Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
