2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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