What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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