I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
