i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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