im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
