I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
