Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
