guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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