keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
