I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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