You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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