Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
