The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
