Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
