I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
