Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
