Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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