I'm eating all of the evidence.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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