mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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