would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
