Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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