grandma shit on top of the toilet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
