More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
