you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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