Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The best revenge is premature balding
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
