Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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