There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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