I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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