i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
