Having a random hookup so left but love u
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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