i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
