; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was so not down for the gang bang
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
