I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
