just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
