I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
