you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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